Ok so for those of you who haven't heard the story, here it is. Every time I tell it I feel a little better. On the week of the fourth of July, I went to his house. We pulled into his drive way and he says "O Sami D was here the other day. I gave her a tour of my house." Now, ok I've hated her for a long time. They had french together and I knew that she was a threat to me and I asked him not to be friends with her because I knew she like him but he didn't listen to me. This makes me especially angry because he used to dictate to me who I could and couldn't be friends with and if I was friends with someone he didn't like, he'd constantly criticize them. And when I told him that I didnt like her he yelled at me and told me that I can't control who he's friends with. Hypocrite. So, lately Rob has been in a wierd mood. He's always grumpy and irritated and he complains about how he never gets a day off and how he never gets any sleep. On monday he had the day off and it was our 26 months so I figured that we would hang out but when I called him that day, he kept making excuses about why we couldn't hang out. Mostly it was I don't know what I'm doing today or I don't know what my dad wants me to do..blahblahblah. He's NEVER ditched me before. So I left him alone most of the day and he called me when he wanted to go to sleep and he was in that pissy mood. We'll we started to have a text message fight. Well I had an appointment on Tuesday morning and he was supposed to take me but because of the fight I was gunna walk. So yesterday morning I called him and I was like well are you coming because i didnt want to leave and then have him show up. and he had just woken up so i was like nevermind i'll just walk and he was like ok and we hung up. So then he calls me back about 5 minutes later and says I'm gunna come and get you. So he shows up and he let me drive because he can't follow directions well and I had a better idea of where the place was. But ok he gets there and his colllar is popped and if you know Rob you know thats not him. So I went through the appointment and then we were going back to the car but we went the wrong way so when we went to turn around I looked at him at the right angle and I saw a hickey. Since I hadnt seen him since at least I dont know, friday and we didnt do anything when we actaully did hang out, I knew it wasnt from me. So I didnt say anything but I was really quiet when he brought me home, which was wierd because I thought we could hang out afterward, but inside I was freaking out. So I got out of the car and I kissed him but he didnt kiss me back and he didnt want to tell me he loved me but I said it do he said it back. It was routine for us. I hate that our last kiss sucked so bad. Do you remember how in the second part of the bomb grey's anatomy when Meredith can't remember her and derek's last kiss? and then she says you never think the last one is going to be the last one? well, thats what happened here. I hated it. I kissed him, he didnt kiss me back and it was quick, like routine. I HATE HOW IT HAPPENED. but then thought about it and if we would have a a real kiss, her tongue would have been the last in his mouth before mine. I felt cheated because the kiss we did have. It just didnt satisfy me. but anyways. so i get in the house and I call Kati but I woke her up so I let her go back to sleep. So then I called Tara who was sleeping and then I called Ally but she didnt answer the phone and then I called heather and she wasn't home either. So I called Briana. I told her what I saw and she told me that I should ask him about it. So I called him and I was like did you have a hickey? and he was like yeah..... and i said from who and of course he wouldn't tell me and I said when and he said a couple nights ago. and i said is that as far as it went and he was like yeah. and i was like do you not want to be with me anymore and he was like its not that i was stressed out and I couldnt talk to you. and I was like why did you do this and he was like i dont want to make you more upset than you already are and I was like I cant possibly be more upset than I already am and he was like I was drunk. and I was like where did you get drunk and he was like nowhere. and i was like well do you want to break up and he was like i dont know what I want I have to think about it. so i was like well call me when you decide. Then I called my brother to see if he could take me down to my moms work and he made me talk to his wife who called my mom and had her call me. so i talked to her and she told me to go to my brothers house and she would pick me up after work. so i went. while i was there I talked to Kati and she gave me some good advice. and then my mom picked me up and took me for ice cream. then we got home and i sat at the computer for awhile and changed my myspace and my facebook and everything. The more I thought about the situation the more I figured out that I cant be with him no matter how much i wanted to. because every time i kissed him i was going to think about how he kissed her and there would be no trust and what kind of a relationship has no trust? so i messaged him on myspace and i was like i cant be with you for this many reasons and i told him that he was going off to college and he needed freedom and not to be tied down by a relationship. I told him I wasnt mad and I didnt hate him I was just telling him the truth like i'd done all along. So I got offline and I went and my room and cried for a while and then I got back online. He was online and he had deleted me from his myspace friends. So I called him. We talked for a while and I got some answers that I wanted. I guess that he needed someone to talk to about things about me that bothered him so he called her. He said he couldnt remember who started it but I'm betting that it was her because shes wanted him all along. I asked him if she was the reason why we didnt hang out on monday and he sadid she was because he couldnt sit there and lie to my face. So we talked and we came up with a plan. What was gonna happen is that we were gonna start being phone friends and we'd talk for about a half hour every couple days and when we were ready we were gonna start hanging out in person. and then after we talked aobut eachothers faults and how to fix them, we were gonna try a relationship. So he was tired because he hadnt slept in a few days so he went to bed and so did I. but i started thinking and i started crying. again. and i called briana back and talked to her about some stuff. And last night i decided that i cant be just his friend. I cant sit there and watch him date other girls. it would hurt way too much. and i also decided that as long as shes in his life, i cant be. i couldnt believe that he was still friends with the girl who ruined us. it hurt me more than he'll ever know. so this morning i woke up and i called him and i asked him to meet me at grover at noon. then i wrote him a letter saying all the things that i needed that i needed to say to him including that i cant be just his friend and that if shes in his life i cant be. I basically said its either all or nothing and its either me or her. so he read it and he was quiet for a while and he was like so you dont want to be my friend and I was like I cant be just your friend. And then he was like so its either you or friends? and i said no its me or her. and he was like well all my friends are girls and youre not going to trust me with them and i said no i'm not going to trust you with her. and we sat quiet for a while and then i was like do you have anything to say to me and he was like i guess i have alot more thinking to do. so we sat quiet for a while more andhe was like i cant make this decision right now and i was that thats fine. i've made my decision and i'm going to wait for him because i KNOW in my heart that we need to be together and I dont want to waste my time on anyone else if I know in the end, its going to be him. so i told him that i'd wait because whos going to want to date me in the meantime? and then we sat quiet for a litte while longer and i said you can go home if you want. and he left and as he was walking away I remember thinking wow. i think i'm watching him walk away from me for the last time. so then i called heather to come to grover because she had called me before i left the house and she came up and we talked. an then i came home and told my mom what happened and we talked and then i just got so mad not a rob but at his little skank. i wanted to do something active but i told him i wouldnt harass her and i didnt want to hurt my chances and make him anymore upset. so thats where we are now. i doubt hes gonna call me tonight. in fact i doubt that hes gonna call me ever. his skank wins. honsetly, i feel bad for her because she doesnt have enough self esteem to get her own boyfriend and so she throws herself at mine. and thats the bad part, he had to be drunk and she had to throw herself at him to get him. I hate that they're still friend tho beacuse she ruined us but i think i liked us more than he did. He says that he doesnt like her like that and that it was a stupid mistake but i think that somewhere in the back of his mind, he wants to be with her and he has for a long time. thats why this decision is so hard for him. but we'll see how it goes and if he decides that he does want to be with me, its gonna be forever and i'm not gonna let gim screw me around. i think thats why i'm letting him take so long to make this decision because i want him to be sure of what he needs to do. I know this is crazy but the fact that all this has happened has made me love him more because i've saw how easy it was to lose him. so theres my story. Summer romances begin for all kinds of reasons, but when all is said and done, they have one thing in common. They're shooting stars, a spectacular moment of light in the heavens, a fleeting glimpse of eternity, and in a flash..they're gone -The Notebook if this is really over, i can honestly say that this was my spectacular moment of light in the heavens. I'll never forget this past 26 months with him. they're honestly the best 26 months of my life. I'll always love him and I'll never be over him I'm sure of that. opinions are definitely welcome. | 
